One of those days

I woke up today, not in the worse mood, but maybe not happy...I don't know what's wrong. I have so much stuff on my mind. Things I want to get up and do. It's like, every time I plan something, I'm so far away from the out come. I want to finish my back yard, I can't go any further because we need string to tie of the branches that we trimmed. I want another raised bed, no money for that. I want my living room to be full of natural light...it's full of natural dark. Why is it, I have so many plans, but I'm held back by all these limitations? I'm starting to sleep so much through out the days. I don't have drive to get up and do anything.


I look at some of my favorite blogs, and I'm so damn jealous! I know we have all had a share of troubles...it seems I'm just starting now. I was blessed, 21 I'm in my own place. It's not what I thought. Me and Danny argue over the dumbest stuff. "Why did you leave that there??" "I don't want the doorbell any more". I had some crazy idea that when I moved out, my house would be an empty canvas, waiting for us to paint our life in. Instead, I got a house full of other people's stuff, a brother in law that isn't worth 2 dollars, and problem after problem after problem. I read you guys story and I think, how did you make it? How did you continue through all the small dumb shit? Every day it's a struggle for me to stay happy all day. I'm so angry about it all. I'm happy to not have to worry about buying couches, but if these couches mean I have to continue to be clutter with all your other junk, please just come get it! Take it all! I'd rather be in an empty house than a house full of stuff that's stopping me from adding my love...I guess I really am ungrateful.