Getting...Serious?

Before we get serious, here's a picture of Danny aka Pre Hubs, trying out my diy bed. He took it to the extreme and turned my whole car into his bed. Poor guy lol. Anyway! I've been doing some thinking, and honestly that's never too good when it come's to me. However, this was actually was not that bad. I've been talking to Duckie, who is frikken amazing by the way, and she gave me some pretty good advise. What was it? Well that's a secret, just know....life changing lol.
I've been pretty grumpy here lately which is why I have not been consistent with my post. My blog is my documentation on everything life, but I don't want you guys to think I'm a complete negative Nancy!! I will admit, this phase in my life is excruciatingly a tad bit stressful, but no reason to bum you guys out. Amirite?? So, I got some goals, some future plans for my house, my yard, and my blog. Let's just go ahead and say I am reevaluating my life completely. And you guys, it's scary. I feel like I'm forcing myself to...grow up way too fast. I'm 21, in my own place. I already have credit card debt, went through serious unemployment, and cried for 3 nights in a row...not over relationship issues or school troubles, but over bills! I digress. This is the path I am supposed to take and I'm pretty sure, bitching and complaining giving up staying in the same position is not how you move forward.

The problem I run across is getting serious. I don't want to. Getting serious is so...serious. I like being able to make mistakes and take them lightly. I like being able to laugh at offensive joke. I like not having to commit to my blog if I don't want to. I like not having to get up and get things done! BUT that's not how life works. SO I'm going to figure out how I, a 21 year old rebellious young woman, can, work, clean, cook, laugh, fix stuff, blog, and be semi serious about marking things off my extremely long 2014 bucket list. Excuse me while I just....

My first DIY

What does this picture say about me? That I'm young and active? Or, I'm lazy and unmotivated? lol probably the unmotivated one. BUT I have a good reason. See, this work training is boring, it's at 7 in the freaking morning and if you guys don't know, I am not a morning person. That probably has a lot to do with the reason why I also don't post everyday. One day guys, I'll wake up with the birds and sing songs, and eat breakfast and be happy and shit...one day.

Lets get on to my DIY. It's called a temporary bed. All you need is one computer chair and two dining chairs. First step, line your three chairs up computer chair first, followed by the two dining room chairs. Second step, sit in the second chair and lay your upper body in the computer chair and stretch your legs out in the other dining room chair. Look at above picture for reference. Once you have gotten yourself comfy, proceed to doze off and not pay attention to work. #FuckItAll

You know whats so great about this bed? If you have wheels on your computer chair, you can use your abs to rock your upper body back and forward SO not only did I provide you an awesome way to get fired relaxation bed, I also provided you a work out machine to get those abs right for the summer time!

Until next time!

Pet Loss and a pretty long post

It should be no surprise, I am a huge animal lover. I feed homeless animals when I can, cry when I see they are abused, cry when they have happy endings, and cry when my own get sick. Just a few weeks ago, I was bursting with happiness because I was blessed with two little surprises. A pup for my anniversary and a baby kitten I found in my shed. This week before this one was normal. Tuesday, I got up and started my first day of training. I was excited. I let China out to go potty and let her back in to come hang out with mom during work. That day was normal. She played, she ate. She also threw up. Dogs do that. They puke, nothing new. She only did it once, I wasn't too worried. She continued to act normal. Wednesday, she was fine. No throwing up, playing like normal. She was fine... Thursday, I woke up to a huge mess outside her cage. It looked like blood, I panicked. I called and got her a vet appointment immediately. I was worried she had parvo. Almost over night, my baby stopped playing, wouldn't move, wouldn't eat or drink. I had to work so the best I could do for her is keep talking to her, letting her know she would be okay. More vomit, with added runny stool...with blood. I was so afraid. As soon I was off, I gathered her up and rushed her to the vet. They ran their test and told me "No parvo, JUST hookworms." (hookworms suck the blood out of it's victim's body through the lower intestines) Initially, all I felt was relief. Ok, we get some dewormer and get some fluids in her, she will be fine. I caught this early. Then I got pissed, the lady I got her from told me she had been wormed and had her first shots. All I needed to do was follow up on the 28. No problem, I don't care any more ad long as she will be ok. That vet visit cost me 300 dollars. Luckily I have care credit just for emergencies. Anyway, so we bring China home, give her medicine, love her, talk to her, and let her rest. Danny goes out to hang out with his dad, cool no problem. I stay up a little longer, give her the second round of medicine, more fluids, more love. You can see it in her eyes, she is not doing well. I'm begging her, "Just make it through the night baby, you will be ok. Stay with mommy." She just looks at me with those big brown puppy eyes. I stay with her, just a little longer. "Okay, mommy is gonna go shower and get ready for bed, I'll come check on you again. I love you." I go shower. Once I'm out, one last time I go check on her, she is sleep...still alive, just sleep. No vomit, so the medicine is still in her. To me that's a good sign. I pet her little head and tell her "good night. I'll see you in the morning"

4:00am Danny comes home, I'm sleep. He is slightly intoxicated. He comes in the room, I'm a light sleeper so I wake up. His face....I just knew. I throw pants on and run in the living room where I have a little area gated off for her. She is gone. All the life she had just days before isn't there any more. I'm not sure when she passed, but I wasn't there. She had to face death all alone, and I hate myself for it. She was MY baby. She was MY responsibility. How could I listen to some lady who I didn't even know and put MY child's life on the line. She wasn't even 6 months old. She had so much more life to live.

It's hard...she passed on the 16th...alone. I tell myself, "she knew you loved her" but what does that matter? She had to suffer a lonely death and I can never change that. I can't give her the comfort of dying in my arms. She never got to feel my tears, I didn't get to beg her long enough. Maybe, if I would have been there, she would fought harder.
I know a lot of people won't understand why I feel the way I feel and that's okay. Part of my blogging journey is to learn how to do things for myself...and this post is for me. Everyday I wake up with a pain in my heart. She left this void...this big empty void. I have to walk around my house and act like I'm happy when I'm not. I miss her. The few weeks she was with me...they were happy and carefree and some what irritating (she tore my bag of leaves and destroyed my lemon grass lol). And any dog owner knows that having a dog, is having a best friend from day one...and she was, she was my best friend.

Dear China, please don't be upset with me, know that I loved you and I tried to save you. I wish I could have tried harder, I wish I would have stayed up with you instead of going to sleep for work. I know, up there in doggy heaven, you are watching over Lucky Cat and willing him to grow up big and healthy.
I will always remember you and love you...my little Mighty Mutt. </3

Happy Quick Tips

Good Friday every one!!! So today, I have some good news...I'm working again!!! This is the best news, let me tell you why. I had a pink bill for my lights, pink bill for my water, a disconnection notice for my internet, and almost no groceries. I have a negative 534.13 in my account from paying all the bills, and no, I don't have a problem with sharing that with you guys. I was pretty bummed out, but lets face it, aren't we all bummed out when we have to pay bills? So with that being said, today I want to share my five quick tips that I always use when I need some happy to combat the angry/sad.

The first thing I normally do, is sit in self pity. That means I cry, go bitch mode...rip up junk mail...what ever the mood calls for at the moment. A lot of times, this is enough to kind of snap me back...like hey!!! We are way too cute for this!

Some things, are a bit more...emotional. Raging won't really help and I don't have anymore tears to cry. I'll be honest you guys, Danny, although is an extremely great man, gets me to this point. We have a lit of differences and we are two dominate personalites so we clash...over the dumb shit lol. It's never anything big, we normally agree on those things, but still a lot of times these arguments go on way longer, and he holds grudges like it's nobody's business. I tend to just let it go if it's not worth the effort. So this bums me out and I get depressed because...well I don't like when my Boobie is mad at me. For situations like this, I tend to use pen and paper. Here is where I'm a little different, sometimes, I can't think to write so I chicken scratch all over that poor paper. Like serious lines all over the place. I get creative and change colors and all that jazz. If I do happen to write something, a lot of times, I'll burn it. I'm emotional and a lot of times I write things I don't mean, so burning means I won't take a chance at hurting anyone should they run across my letter. This keeps me from doing this

RANDOM DANCING!!!!! I know I speak for all of us, dancing cures all. It even helps us burn those calories that we gained from all our emotional eating!

This guy is doing it right!

This guy..is also doing it right

Carlton ALWAYS does it right

Who knew Jeffery could do it right 

Aang...I love Avatar.

And good ole Will...one of the best shows of the 90's? HELLS YEAH!

Ok sorry about that dancing gif spam..but dancing is my favorite one. My next tip is the hardest one...just let it go. A lot of times, the things we worry about, just isn't worth it. Take my money issue for example...I have never cared about money, I'd work a farm for the rest of my life and live with no electricity. Bye bye internet. I was born with out money, when I die, the government will take all my money...so why stress? I know we "need" money to "enjoy" life and "live"...but to cry about it...psh, I won't be in debt always and once I remember that...poof like magic, I was happy...gif spam alert(it's worth it)

Told ya it was worth it. :). The last tip I want to share with you is, get some nature. There is so much to be grateful for and we can realize that just by walking out side. Think about it, here on Earth, we have just enough gravity to keep us on the ground...poor aliens in space...they float and shit. Think about taking a doodie in space...it's gonna float up and touch your cheek meat...that's if you can even push it out!! Also we have flowers and you should take time to smell the concrete..or wait...roses...whatever, I hate roses and I'm afraid of bees soooo yeah. Past all that though, it really is beautiful outside and sometimes that can bring out the beautiful happy in us. No worries...I don't have and gifs for this one so you all are safe lol.


Do you guys want to add anything on here? Maybe you can show me how to get some new happy.

A late confession on a future Wednesday

I actually wrote this post last week but it was already 10 at night so I said eff it and scheduled it for today...which is weird to type because it's still this Wednesday...ummm okay. I'm ready for some some confessions!!! How about you guys? I missed so many confessions I'm going to burden you all with my crap...ready?

Confession 1- I get so jealous of the bloggers who say they have made blog friends. Like how does that happen? Do I just email some one I really want to talk to and strike up a conversation?? Hmmmm, I'm gonna bug Kat and send her emails and see if she wants to be friends...or maybe adopt me as a little sister lol (run Kat).

Confession 2- Every night I say "Yea I'm gonna get up early and have a productive day!!" Then when my alarm goes off, I say a lot of curse words and sleep till 12.

Confession 3- When my cats come in heat, I love them in a room by themselves at night time. I am the biggest animal lover you will find...however, I don't mind putting a horny cat in jail for my sleep #sorrynotsorry

Confession 4- I love Drea from Oh Dear Drea. I want to move to Florida just so I can stalk her and maybe one day eat her delicious food. I actually sent her an email thanking her for her inspiration and she emailed me back...I freaked out a little bit.
p.s. I know bloggers are people but I am always shocked when an established blog comments on my post or responds to one of my emails.

Confession 5- I just realized Florida= Flo Rida....does that music guy spell his name like that?? Meh...not important.

Confession 6- I read one of Jessie's fitness post (she is my secret friend and, we get coffee to catch up sometimes) and I worked out for 5 minutes then ate a cookie. The point is, she motivated me to get my ass off the couch and try...so in my eyes she is pretty inspiring.

Confession 7- I'm not as creepy as I sound in real life, we've only had mental coffee once lol.

Confession 8- I hate when people post pointless pity post on facebook. "My phone is so dry" "No one called me today" "I feel so ugly". Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with sad post every now and then...but people who are publicly sad everyday???? unfriend...now

There ya have it folks! Some one send me an email and be blog friends with me!! Also, I have my blog planner in full effect so hopefully, I will have a post every day for now on! SO what's hiding in you guys closet this week?